Power Rankings – Week 10

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. This week’s power rankings features a not-so-anonymous GM who was gracious enough to lend us their time and thoughts.

The newest, and tall, half of the ownership group at Bread ‘N’ Butter gives us another point of view from inside the league as they’ve supplied the team here at Picked Off Magazine with their own rankings heading into week 10.

12. IC Lighters

Yet again another grind it out game from the IC Lighters. They we’re one catch away on Monday night from stealing another victory in a matchup that quite frankly deserved to have two losers. Life’s not fair. Get over it. They lost and have found themselves cleaning up the mess in the basement of Bread ‘N’ Butter’s power rankings who suggest the Lighters may be stuck in their ways…

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
The worst team in the league. No talent on the roster and it’s evident their front office hasn’t invested in an analytics or social media department. Someone introduce old man Lighter to a GIF that isn’t Mike Tomlin already. Sheesh.

11. A Shot and a Beer

What’s love got to do with it? Have the reigning number one seeded team lost their love of the game? Or is that undying love preoccupied elsewhere? Either way things have turned from good, to bad, to ugly through nine weeks.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
They reek of desperation and talks around the league indicate they’re punting on the season altogether. Super embarrassing but frankly, not surprising from this management group.

10. The Conglomerate

Thanks to the meticulous schedule planner amidst some complaints from a certain team (cough, crockcough, coughboys) a back-to-back, belly-to-belly matchup with The Crockpot Boys will determine both of these franchises seasons. Bread ‘N’ Butter isn’t too optimistic on The Conglomerate’s chances however…

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
Not even a fleecing of A Shot and a Beer can save this franchise. 

9. McTango’s Kryptonite

The now hottest team in the league adds another victory after their torrid start on the backs of a herculean performance from keeper Joe Mixon. Certainly a good time for Joe Exotic Mixon to hit the 2.5 multiplier on his season total in touchdowns in one game. A few points shy of the all time record for any player has the reigning champions in the playoff picture. Bread ‘N’ Butter however is in the belief this is a hot streak rather than a team trending in the right direction.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
So let me get this straight… They started Russell Wilson at QB to start the season and when that wasn’t working, they went to… Derek Carr? 

8. Team Diversity

A victory over the top ranked in the team has Team Diversity firmly back in the mix of the congested playoff picture. The always active twosome will need to pile a few more victories before the season is over if they want to improve upon their last few seasons. A program that has been building year after year is in a dog fight through nine weeks of the 2022 season. Bread ‘N’ Butter have a short but to the point message for the most inclusive team in the league.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
Aside from Derrick Henry, this team disgusts me. Get a life. 

7. The Big Dawgs

The two biggest of dawgs left on this roster in Davante Adams and Travis Kelce were enough to push this middling team into the victory column this week. With major injuries and suspensions galore, will the Dawgs find a bone to chew on the rest of the season, or will they be chasing that seemingly uncatchable tail of theirs.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
 This team is team has surprised me this year. On draft night I thought for sure they’d be in the cellar all season long, but that’s the thing about drafting Darnell Mooney, he always gives you a chance. 

6. The Crockpot Boys

You can’t kill a team who doesn’t have hope, and this bashful bunch have just that, hope. At long last. The tide finally turned their way this week as they squeaked out a win with a less than stellar performance, something I must say is awfully rare for this franchise. A less than stellar performance, that is. It’s the hope that kills you, but is this team ready to die? Not so fast… as Bread ‘N’ Butter are pulling their best Lee Corso impersonation and putting the crockpot on top of their head in week 10.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
Did the prospect of a Cooper Kupp injury scare this team straight? Because they’re playing their best ball in weeks, neigh, years. I like a team with momentum and I’m buying the Crockpot Boys hype this week. 

5. Untethered Rage

Belief. Prayers. Wishes. Whatever it is, it’s being suspiciously answered for the commissioner’s team as the league office surprisingly rescheduled the games just before the season started. The games fell in their favor once again as another pillow fought victory has this team sitting near the top of the league standings. We’re not one to speculate, but perhaps when it smells fishy, tastes fishy, it just may be fishy. Fact Based Journalism will investigate this matter further.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
Tip of the cap for playing this well without Keenan Allen but I don’t believe in this roster at all. No idea how they’re 6-3. 

4. Bread ‘N’ Butter

Is a once promising season melting away? Bread ‘N’ Butter certainly do not think so…

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
On the surface, things might look bleak for a team on a 5-game losing streak. But if you take a closer look at the numbers, there’s good reason for BNB fans to be optimistic: They rank 4^th in league scoring and have a softball matchup against ASAAB this weekend. Brighter days are ahead. 

3. My Wife Left Me

Two losses in a row, but this team still sits atop the league standings. Oscar season can’t come soon enough as this team needs a piece of Hollywood back in their life. Bread ‘N’ Butter suggests there may be another reason for the recent slump though…

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
This team has some nice pieces, but they got out to hot start for one reason and one reason only: Josh Jacobs. Now that he’s returning to earth, things are starting to get real for MWLM. 

2. Hogs, Inc.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Starting to become a reoccurring theme for the Hogs as reports inside Hogs HQ suggest they’re still beating themselves up about dropping their draftee Kenneth Walker shortly before Mr. Penny parted the 12th man sea open for him in Seattle. Their season may still lie on Ja’Marr Chase’s hip, and we’ll have to wait and see if his hips resemble Shakira’s or if they’ll be lying on the sidelines the rest of the year.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
 If not for a few injuries, the Hogs might just be sitting on top of the standings. Fortunately, they’re also one of the deepest rosters in the league so they’re equipped to handle such adversity.  

1. Oprah’s Clunge

Turns out Weapon H was too hot to handle. With a WMD like that in the rear view mirror, the Clunge have been able to put the car in drive and race up the standings. A big matchup awaits in week 10 vs the Hogs who will have to lean on some utility players.

Do the Clunge have the mark of a champion? Bread ‘N’ Butter certainly think so as they’ve placed them atop the rankings.

Bread ‘N’ Butter:
They were good when it was just the Ekeler and Tyreek show, but the emergence of Travis Etienne and Kenneth Walker hasn’t just made this team a legit title contender, but in my not-so-anonymous opinion, the favorite. 

Once again, thank you to Bread ‘N’ Butter who helped us get another insider perspective this week. Interested in being involved? Well yeah, you should be.

Upwards and onwards,
– Miles