Power Rankings – Week 8

We have a twist this week. To understand the voice of the league this weeks rankings have been outsourced with help from an anonymous GM who was gracious enough to lend us their thoughts amidst the grueling season.

Bye weeks galore aided yet another low scoring week which is starting to become more of the rule than the exception these days. A week where teams needed to show us they can bear down and keep their eyes on the prize, a week 7 victory, gave us a better picture of which teams may find themselves in the big dance later this season.

As we approach the Dad Bods Fantasy Football League All-Star Break (and look out for our full midseason report next week), here’s how the teams stand heading into week 8 according to one GM in this league.

12. Bread ‘N’ Butter

This team is trending in the wrong direction, and fast. Are they starting to butt heads or are they just working out the kinks of a new relationship? A rough patch of the season equals a fall from grace as this team finds themselves in the basement as seen by our anonymous GM.

Anonymous GM:
The Honeymoon is over. Control is being taken back. Dominance is being asserted. Two Betas…what else would you expect?

11. The Big Dawgs

Another long trip to the vet is starting to derail the Big Dawgs season. Where do they go from here? Let’s hope they have pet insurance.

Anonymous GM:
You wake up every single day, and you ask yourself, “what the hell do I need to do to get better?” Ha, well at least some of us do that….

10. A Shot and a Beer

56.5. No that is not a missing a 1 in front of it. The reigning 1 seed has the worst output of the season from any team so far. Things are looking very spooky.

Anonymous GM:
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers of the #DBFFL. A team we all think (or thought) was capable of a deep playoff run not too long ago. HC of Tampa Bay described the Buccaneers as being in a “Dark Place”….trust me, ASAAB is in a darker place. They are not ok.

9. The Crockpot Boys

They did not hit the win column. They did noooot. Oh hi, Crockpot! They got the results of the test back. They definitely have bottomofthestandingssyndrome.

Anonymous GM:
You ever seen the movie “The Room” ? Yeah. So bad that it’s good. Except it’s not. It’s horribly made, horribly acted, horribly shot. Just entertaining for those from the outside to enjoy. #ImSorry

8. The Conglomerate

Kyle Pitts simply hasn’t been the keeper The Conglomerate thought they would spend the rest of the season with. Luckily for them the on the field issues do not match up with budding off the field success.

Anonymous GM:
Somethings are more important than fantasy football. Not a lot. But #love is one of them. Congratulations to one of the Co-Owners of the Conglomerate getting engaged to a beautiful woman and the love of his life. Cheers!

7. McTango’s Kryptonite

The Kryptonite have had to do a lot of self reflection this year. Two wins in a row and maybe they’re starting to find their ideology.

Anonymous GM:
Philosophy. What’s the definition of “Philosophy” ? And once you find that definition, then what is YOUR Philosophy, specifically on winning fantasy football games? Questions McTango’s Kryptonite needs to ask itself.

6. Team Diversity

This team has found a nice slumpbuster in week 7, and our GM sees even bigger victories ahead for Team Diversity.

Anonymous GM:
To be eliminated from the WWE Royal Rumble, you must be thrown over the TOP rope, and both feed must touch the ground. Team Diversity was thrown through the middle rope a couple weeks ago, and has just been laying low on the outside waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Translation? They can still win this thing.

5. Oprah’s Clunge

Oprah’s Clunge has put on that pair of pants they haven’t worn in 3 years and found $500 dollars in the pocket. Let’s see how they spend it.

Anonymous GM:
Business is Business and Oprah’s Clunge is in the Dominatrix business. They are kinky. They are sexy. And they just might be the reason your local senator won’t be your local senator in a few months time. Think about it? Get it? Yup. Look out, folks.

4. Untethered Rage

Just to reiterate these are not the team here at Picked Off Magazine’s rankings. However, it seems the commissioner and his victim have more support around the league than we previously realized.

Anonymous GM:
Money talks. But so does this team, and they back it up week in and week out with their play. They’re on the same page, they’re reading the same book. What is the book, you ask? ‘if I did it’ by OJ Simpson

3. IC Lighters

Competitors to their core. This team once again finds a way to win. No we don’t understand it either. Similar to another coach who’s never found themselves with a losing record.

Anonymous GM:
They are always good. They are always competing. They are always in the mix. They are the IC Lighters and this is the time of year they do what they do. Compete and get into the show. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, oh wait, it’s just the IC lighters getting the absolute best out of their guys again” – some random 7 year old in Kansas seeing something in the sky.

2. Hogs, Inc.

Don’t forget about (Rhamon)Dre. Y’all know them, still the same O.G.’s of Dalvin Cook, Jalen Hurts, and Ja’Marr Chase. Without two of their stars this week, another player reminds the Hogs to not forget about him. Our GM may think just a bit too highly of these Hogs however.

Anonymous GM:
Best owners in the league. Smart. Tactical. Master strategist. They think miles ahead of the rest of the fray it seems. Hard to beat. Harder to ignore. Hogs Inc.

1. My Wife Left Me

No pressure. No diamonds. Our GM is firmly putting the pressure on My Wife Left Me as they continue to hold down the top spot in this league.

Anonymous GM:
If they do not win the championship this year, it is the biggest choke job in fantasy football history. It’s that simple. Pressures on. Win it all or always be known as the ultimate loser. Thin line between joy and pain…

Once again, thank you dearly to the anonymous GM who helped us get a true insiders perspective this week.

We appreciate you as well reader,
– Miles