THE Nicky Westgate Newsletter – Vol. 2

And we’re back baby. Not that we ever left.

Now, before jumping into my much anticipated week 6 picks (everyone is talking about them), we get to do my favorite thing:

Nicky Victory Laps

The only reason I started any of this. To flex things I got right on you guys. One day you will listen to me:

Sweaty Pitts Anonymous +20 – Bang – That’s right. I didn’t forget that every player on the Commanders (except for their 3 top fantasy options) and Calvin Austin could ball. If not for some late game heroics from Davante Adams… whoops, I meant Jakobi Meyers, this would have been an outright upset for our excessively perspiring underdog. The opening lock hits, 1-0, ya bish.

Commissioner W ML –  – Come on, like this was going to go any other way. I don’t want to get into politics, but this outcome was as inevitable as Trump 2024. Also AOC can get it. Maybe I do want to talk politics…

And now, for something I never anticipated having to do:

Nicky Capitulates

Uhhhh guess you can’t always be right:

Kysol ML – Big L (rest in peace) – Doesn’t get much more wrong than this. I mean who didn’t think that the ~30 point favorite would take four pints of piping hot (ice)cream from………………….. Zack Moss, Adam Thielen, AJ Dillon, Zach Wilson…….. sorry I need to throw up. Segment over.

Enough of that. No one cares how incredibly right I am (insert pic of me rubbing my nipples here)… most of the time. Now back to your regular programming:

I’m Locked Up, They Won’t Let Me Out – Akon

Wake up babe, it’s time for Nicky Westgate’s lock of the week:

Vice – 9.0 vs. Tony’s Tuddies

Call it a hunch but I think this week we’re going to get the Josh Dobbs bounce back game. And as the hairless mascot and physical incarnation of the Vice himself, that means everything to this team. We also can’t forget the Jonathon Taylor revenge game narrative. After a clearly rigged loss to our oh so handsome presidente, I expect this team to rally around their backup running back who can’t beat out Zack Moss.

Like Vice When You Make Fun of the Eagles – Upset

Sorry, sorry, pandering:

Tight Cores Anonymous ML vs. Token North County Kid

Low body fat and bulging abdominals, must I say more? Sure, the Token North County boys are projected to outscore by 20 points, but if I learned anything last week, it’s this: if you have sick obliques, then you can do anything. Also my primary take away from Fight Club for what it’s worth. Give me the Anonymous Abs!!!! 

See you on Nicky Victory Laps next week…